Step-Dadding………..

So it’s Fathers Day number three since we lost the big guy. The lead up felt “slightly” less unbearable than the others….. This year we remembered funny stories and memories that Trenton did that still make us laugh, even now. It’s nice when you can get to the part of the journey where you can smile about them and not just cry. Do we miss him any less? No… in fact probably more, because  the distance from when he died to now is so much further than it was. But we can talk about him endlessly now without losing it, because he gave us a lifetime of stories in the time that we had him. When Trenton came along, he assumed the role of Ruby’s Dad where her father could not. I always had more respect for him than most partners, because he did it without a hesitation, with so much love and it was not his responsibility to do so. What an admirable thing he did? And he loved that kid no differently than he loved Poppy when she came along….. you’d never have known she was not of his blood. I have now experienced this once again with Dale, who found us at our most broken, and helped us find the pieces of our lives that were missing or damaged, and stayed. To top this off, he already had three boys of his own…. and now he is raising five kids with me. That is two men that I feel privileged to have met, and have loved dearly. They would have dug each other the most. Step parenting is tough, and this time I get to experience it too…… they are not your own blood, and you haven’t raised them since birth so you do not know every little thing that makes them tick. It’s like rescuing a dog instead of buying a puppy… You have to fall in love with it slowly, be wary of what you say or how you are around it, swallow your pride and overlook shitty behaviour and muck ups, and constantly forgive yourself for not knowing what to do or say to make it alright. It doesn’t come “naturally….” It is something you have to feel out as you go. I adore Dale’s boys, but I do not live with them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He does however live with mine full time. How he keeps his calm when my kids are crazy is beyond me. I can’t, and I’ve lived with them their whole lives! He has taught me how to stay calm, and think about things a little before I blurt out the first angry thought that crosses my mind…… and then breathe. Just breathe. My patience with my girls became almost null and void before he came into our lives, and I watch him parent his boys with calm, stern, and thoughtful love. It’s an incredible talent, and I am trying to learn this new technique….. I know I can share my wisdom with him also….. after all, I have been challenged in my parenting life a tiny bit, enough to have learned a thing or two. So together, we will raise them, teach them, love them and damnit we’ll “drag” them up if we have to….. I am so happy to be walking this journey with him. It has made me respect the step parents of the world just a little bit more than I already did. I guess this is just the next chapter in my book. I am excited for the chapters to come. xxxxxx