So my lovely husband, this would have been your 40th year on Earth. What a celebration we would have had today….. and although at 37 you’d still achieved more than most in your lifetime, this was going to be your time. “Our time”. We used to speak happily about hitting the big “four O”. Where others stressed so much about leaving their 30’s….. you and I embraced these landmark birthdays, and boy did we like to party! You would most certainly have subtly (not subtly) dropped the hint to everyone you knew for weeks leading up to this day…… We would have the biggest God damned party planned and every man and his dog would be invited in true Trenton fashion. I’m sure there would have been more speeches than at our wedding, and yours would have been the loudest, the longest and most hilarious. What would I have said? Thank you?? Thank you for loving me, for being my rock, for loving my baby, for giving me another, for the amazing trips, the tough times you stuck by me, the times you pulled me out of my darkness, the times you let me into yours, the trillion deep and meaningful drunken conversations, the dream sharing, the fear sharing, the laughter, the tears, the parties, the hangovers…… the wonderful life that you gave to me for nearly ten whole years. Enough to remain in my memory bank for a thousand. Thank you for being your unique self…. it was impossible not to adore you. People I talk to about you that never met you adore you….. You are still in our everyday thoughts, our many story tellings, our daily giggles about your inappropriateness…. I cannot imagine a day, a month, a year or a decade where I won’t miss you….. so I won’t. I see you every day when the girls get out of bed, and every night when I take them back….. and a million times in between in their humour, faces, actions, jokes. I’m lucky, I get to keep two little pieces of you to hold close to my heart for all of eternity. I get to keep your incredible friends in my life, and call your family my own. It could be worse. you might not have existed at all. Happy 40th Babe, wherever you are, you are in all of our hearts for eternity and beyond.
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